Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dear Mom...

First of all, thanks for being so excited when I called to tell you that the little girls and I were coming to visit while the big kids and my Man are at youth camp for the week. It does seem kind of fitting that I'll turn 40 while at your house, since we were together on the same date 40 years ago.

Also, thanks for not saying, "Oh, I see, since all your help is leaving, you're coming home for help!"

You are so gracious...remember that.

Remember yesterday when we got here and you showed me where the Sting Kill was just in case someone got stung by a bee? I rolled my eyes a little, thinking about what a worrier you were...

...well, when you went out to run that errand today, Kate got stung by a bee. I heard her scream from inside and got the back door opened just in time for her to come barreling through screaming, "BEE, BEE, BEE!" She threw that foot up on to your kitchen table and there it was, a stinger hanging halfway out of her long skinny foot. I grabbed the knife and tried to slice the exposed piece of the stinger off all the while explaining to Kate that I was not going to cut her foot, just like you did for me when I was a little girl with a bee sting.

Unfortunately, when Kate saw the knife, her hystaria kicked into a whole new gear and Molly came in to offer moral support by hovering as close to the patient as possible without getting near that menacing knife.

I'm not certain that I successfully removed the stinger from Kate's foot and may, in fact, have made matters much worse by giving up and pulling the awful thing out of her foot with my fingers so that I could get that Sting Kill into action post haste!

Kate decided that the sting kill needed some help and asked for the old fashioned baking-soda-and-vinegar-fizz trick. It was while I was gathering the fizz ingredients from your well-labeled pantry (thank you very much) that Molly spilled a very large glass of iced tea all over that lovely table runner that you sewed your very own self and which matches your kitchen perfectly. I've rinsed it out and laid it out to dry.

Growing increasingly worried about the possible bee venom surging through Kate's foot, I began searching for the Epsom salt. I called Sudeana and Dad (at work) to see if either of them knew where you kept that sort of thing and each suggested a few places to look, but I still couldn't find it.

I loaded a bucket with ice and knew all would be ok when Kate began to complain that the water was so cold that she couldn't feel her foot.

"Great!" I reasoned, "I guess that means you can't feel the sting anymore either. Keep your foot in there."

It was the onset of all of the jiggling, wiggling, and near thrashing about as a result of her frozen foot that caused Kate to spill Molly's cup of grape juice on your new patio cushions (that you made your very own self). I rinsed them out too, as much as I could. Perhaps you would consider turning the cushions over to hide the spot if it doesn't come out?

I know you've only been gone for forty-five minutes and the when you come back you'll be able to find the epsom salt and put the world back in order and the knowledge of that is so comforting. I'm also aware that this is only our first day here. Surely things will calm a bit!?

I'm so sorry for all of the destruction that was set into motion by one little bee, and one little girl, who, when she was told by her mother to put some shoes on before going outside

...rolled her eyes a little.

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