Things just don't seem right.
My Dad would probably say, "Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes, the bear gets you."
I've been two steps ahead of the bear all week, today he got a chunk of me, and as it goes, of one of my kids too.
It's been one of those situations when you want the very best for your child and the very best is so obviously right there in front of everyone's face, except not everyone seems able to see what's best. Perhaps they see best, but aren't seeking after it as hard as you are...as I am...as we are.
We've been at it for a few weeks now and the roller coaster ride of, "Yes you can," then "No, you can't," has been a bit tough on the belly and the nerves and especially on the child.
There comes a time, it seems, to just walk away...even though it's not fair.
I tell the kids all the time that life's not fair and that they shouldn't expect it to be. That's another thing my Dad said often as I was growing up and encountering life's curve balls. I wonder if it was as hard for him to watch when I was experiencing such issues as it has been for my kiddo and my Man and I today. Probably.
I wanna stomp and jump and kick my feet and yell, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" and "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!" but such words aren't allowed in this house and even when I go out into the yard, someone always follows.
That's the thing, they are always gonna follow and this isn't going to be the last time something is unfair. I might not be right there to tell my children how to respond, I'll not need to be, they're learning now, for better or worse. This isn't a dress rehearsal, there's no student teaching here, we're running live 24/7.
As for this current struggle, good will come of it all. In fact, it already has...in small ways. I've watched siblings gingerly ask after the one involved with great care and deference. They've made bits of allowances for the tender hearts among us. They've sympathasized with us and have been disappointed with us and for us, which hasn't been easy because the "us's" have been pretty prickly within these walls.
Molly, as always, cheers us on...
"Mommy, your da best mommy ever!"
"Well, Molly I don't know about that. Mommy makes lots of mistakes..."
"Oh...I know dat Mom, don't worrwee, nobody's pur-fect."
And don't we know it!
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.