Thanks for coming home for lunch today so that I could go to my appointment. The children, have already eaten. Unfortunately, when I left the kitchen to make last minute preparations, Molly made a return visit. I too, returned to the kitchen remembering that I wanted to have your deluxe PB&J ready for your lunch only to find Molly elbow-deep in the bread bag with three slices of bread surrounding her on the counter top, EACH WITH ONE OR TWO BITES OUT OF THEM!
This left me in a bit of a quandary. You see, earlier this morning, I discovered that a loaf of bread in the pantry was well beyond the expiration date and had to be thrown away in its entirety. You know how I hated that. Two dollars and fifty cents right into the trash! With that irritation fresh in my mind, I was left to decide whether to use Molly’s second-hand bread for your sandwich or throw those pieces away with the other ENTIRE loaf. The wife in me who appreciates your leadership in our home wanted to show you due respect with fresh, un-chewed slices of bread. However, the wife in me who appreciates the work you do to earn your paycheck wanted to make the new loaf of bread last as long as possible.
Wife(who would have eaten the pre-chewed bread herself if she hadn’t already eaten before the above mentioned incident. Honest.)