Sunday, March 6, 2011


This weekend my family took part in an activity that we wouldn't have had the opportunity to except that my Man is a pastor. This weekend my Man was a pastor with a title-less sermon. Around here, the titles of sermons are either things of beauty or targets of ridicule (usually by me and maybe one or two others =-). In my humble opinion, when I am asked for my creative input, sermon titles are things of beauty and when my Man decides to go it alone...targets of ridicule.  I love, learn from, and look forward to my Man's sermons. I'm a fan and a loyal one at that, I just think sermon titles are maybe-kinda-almost not on the top of the list of things at which this minister of mine excels.

Last week's sermon title was good enough, "Off with the Old, On with the New," and dealt with sinful aspects of life that we must forsake to live the life of a Christ-follower. I thought it should have been called (in hindsight) "What NOT to Wear." Catchy huh?

The sermon for this Sunday was taken from Colossians 3:12-17 and included the apostle Paul's instructions to Christians about what characteristics we are to appropriate in our lives. Colossians 3:12 says, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience..."

Imagine my happiness when I received a text message in the middle of last week that said, "Need help with a sermon title." I don't get these requests as often as I feel that I should, so I called my Man and said, "What part of Corinthians are we in this week?"

"Colossians," said he probably thinking where we've been for the past few months! Where have you been wifey??

"Oh right, Colossians, what's the sermon about?" (Like I said, I'm a fan.) After bringing me up to speed on the major points of Sunday's sermon, he asked for a title.

"Give me a bit, I'll have something for you," I promised.  Then I began to prepare dinner and only thought of one measly suggestion after which I gave the matter absolutely no consideration!  A few days later, as he was preparing to go to the gym my pastor Man said, "What was that title you had the other day? I can't quite remember it." (Already, my title had not succeeded if it was forgettable only a day or so later!!!)

"Dressing for a Blessing," I said with mild irritation at my obviously forgettable title idea.  My Man wasn't in love with it either and suggested,

"How about 'What a Christian Should Wear'?"

"Hang on, I was just put to sleep," I teased, "what was that again?"

"OK, I'm going with 'What to Wear'."

"Better," I said, "but not wonderful. Go workout, I'll have something for you when you get back." As the car pulled out of the driveway, I texted reinforcements.

My sister Becky (remember her?) is always quick with a quip so I enlisted her help.

I texted, "Need some quick witted help...." and explained what we were after.  As Becky's mental wheels began spinning, I called my Mom who was at that time en route to my other sister's home in South Carolina to lend a hand with sick children and ailing adults.  "Hmmmmmm," said my Mom loving the challenge.  Soon title suggestions began rolling in...

"How Do I Look?"
"Rags to Riches"
"NOT another Hand-Me-Down"
"Extreme Makeover: Soul Edition"
"Dressed for Success"
"Dress for Your Best"
"Say YES to the Dress!"
"The Clothes You Leave Behind"
"What Are You Going to Wear?"
"Dressed to Bless"
"One Size Really DOES Fit All"

It took my sister only a few minutes to come up with some of those fun titles. It took my Mom only a few short miles and seven calls (each call she said would be the last =-) back to me to think up some of the others.  The "winning title" ended up coming from my Mom's final call which she made to assure me she wasn't texting while driving which I had accused her of doing. 

She called me to tell me that she had, in fact, pulled "way off of the road to send you that text." Just before we ended our conversation she said "How about...
and sooooooo.....

Here she is
Winner and current Title-Holder...

...the pastor's Mother-in-Law, 
who, upon receiving the news of her victory, said that she was 
"just so happy to have been nominated!!"

if, for ANY reason, the pastor's Mother-in-Law is unable to fulfill her duties as Miss Sermon Title...
...the pastor's Sister-in-Law will assume the title of Miss Sermon Title.

{Just for kicks, the sermon can be listened to by clicking>> Whose Name is On Your Label?}


Lori said...

man .... SHould have gone with the song title from the 80s era AVB group "Whats your tag say?" LOL

Becky said...

Gretchen, if this picture keeps popping up, revenge will be coming forthwith!

G'ma suz said...

Back home and so enjoyed this blog. . .extremely glad not to have been runner up or "missed" Congeniality!!
Love to all, especially "Pastor-of-good-judgement". Mom

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